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IN LUCIAM
Hanc cum, Lucia, mentulatiorem
Qui nasatior est inepta credas,
Rivali puto me carere summo,
Quod nondum tibi visus est Philemon.
AGAINST LUCIA
As you take the silly view,
that the bigger the nose the bigger the prick,
my main rival isn't on the scene, Lucia,
since you've never seen Philemon.
#26 in Janus Pannonius, Epigrammata, edited and translated by Anthony A.
Barrett and Corvina Kiado; Pannonius wrote in mid-fifteenth-century Hungary.
Luckily my glasses
hide my enormous nose
which turns slightly at an angle
as a result of a beating in Providence.
I don't know you, Lucia,
but I imagine you shriveled,
hardly of any use to either of us,
besides I may be lying.
(About my enormous nose.)
In a space like this, who can tell
the size of his nose,
the size of his prick,
which might as well align
itself with your monitor,
or the number of keys
as you lean towards the screen.
you might fall into the glass,
you might fall out of it.
Lucia, Lucia,
I just fell out of you!
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